Becoming a statistic

I have been composing this post in my head for a long time, trying to figure out how to tell a story that is representative of what is happening to many people, gives some insight into some real problems in this country right now, and doesn't come off as whiny or victimized. I'm going to give it a shot, anyway.
Having spent many years obtaining a bachelor's degree in nursing, I had managed to work my way up to a comfortable life with a good job, an affordable mortgage, not too many credit bills, the usual ghastly student loans. I was single with no kids, and just entering the range that gets labelled "middle age".
I was incredibly fortunate to meet an amazing man, and without him this story would have ended much, much sooner.
Then I got sick. Tried to work when I could for quite a while, then couldn't work at all. Then misdiagnosed and given a treatment that caused permanent damage, rendering me disabled for even longer - and unable to do some things forever.
But I had short term and long term disability insurance through my employer, which paid at 60% - much better than many folks.
I continued to attempt to return to my job - a bit better than half pay is good, but to pay the bills and pay the mortgage does require the full paycheck! The problem was that the employer had loopholes that allowed them to be exempt from ADA and EEOC requirements to accommodate disabilities if they chose. So I was told that in order to return to work it had to be with no restrictions, no accommodations. So my doctor reluctantly agreed to release me on the condition that if I was unable to do the work in those circumstances then I was to come back to him and be put back on disability leave.
Which is exactly what happened. My company eventually let me go since I could not return to work without being accommodated.
And then the disability insurance company advised me that they would not pay any further, since my doctor had released me to return to work without restrictions - even though it was documented that the attempt had failed.
But....there is a process - an appeal process - so not to worry! Just file the appeal, stating the circumstances, include the medical statements, and wait.
Appeal was denied without any indication that new information provided was even reviewed. So the next level of appeal must be filed. At this point the form letters start to include the information that I have the right to legal representation in this process should I choose to hire an attorney.
This is also the time that I discovered that the ancient physician who had misdiagnosed and treated me (and who was billing me for $8K for the privilege) was for all practical purposes immune to malpractice litigation since he was careful not to carry malpractice insurance and keep all his assets creatively shielded from potential seizure. Essentially, nobody in the state would sue him on contingency.
I also discovered that despite the EEOC telling me that I had the right to sue my employer, because of their status in the state, nobody would take that case on contingency either - especially since they retain a well known legal firm.
After telephoning a half dozen lawyer's offices with no return calls I finally spoke with a lawyer in WA state who told me the truth of why nobody was returning my calls!
At this point, the loss of my home was inevitable so we packed what we could fit, stored what we couldn't and fled to WA state.
Once there, I was fortunate to be treated at UW as a charity patient and cannot say enough good things about that system or their doctors. I got a full high tech workup including hours of testing with full reports and data that confirmed all my abilities and losses.
So Finally!! Data in hand for the insurance company I can finally get that appeal approved and get all the income that I have been living without, right?
So again, file appeal with all the new data and wait. And wait.
In the meantime have filed for disability via Social Security. Saw Social Security disability doctor who agreed that limitations are severe. Denied social security disability due to age, since apparently if you qualify to work as a doorstop under age 50 - then you cannot get SSDI. The fact that there are no jobs as a doorstop where you live or a way to get to a doorstop job if there was one do not factor into the decision. If a doorstop job exists in the US, then you cannot get SSDI.
So ok - depressing, but the long term disability insurance should be coming through. I meet all the qualifications they specify, my doctors have documented this multiple times, just keep jumping through the hoops and the process will finally kick out your money, right?
Denied.
But wait! You can still appeal one more time!!
By this time, am living in OR and nowhere near UW. So I filed the appeal with only a little hope that they would actually look at all the medical records they had been sent documenting all the visits and testing that has been done to this point.
During this time I finally found a lawyer online who advertises they specialize in disability cases and have whole videos dedicated to the company that my insurance is through - so I contacted them and was finally talking to a lawyer who was willing to at least look at my case.
After my final appeal was denied, I filled out all the paperwork for the lawyer and he spent some time looking at my records.
The verdict - probably could have done something if he had been hired during the appeals process, but the ERISA laws (the only legal option I had to go after the insurance company at this point) are such that he could not feasibly win my case now.
So why tell all this? Who cares besides my mother?
This is to say: This could be you. This could be your sister, your wife, your son, your cousin, your best friend.
The road from comfortable middle class to poverty is paved in bureaucracy and medical bills.
And exercising, not smoking, going to church, eating vegetables will not protect you from a potential disaster.
So look at your current situation and ask yourself "what if I got sick and couldn't work?". You are insured against death, but most of us are not protected against losing our entire lives if we get sick.
And also, when you see that person sitting at the state office waiting for their food stamps, or at the low cost medical clinic, or pushing a shopping cart on the street - don't assume you know.
We all have ideas about what needs to be done to address the many issues that contribute to what happened to me, what happens to lots of people.
What I see when I look back is that all the safeguards that were supposed to be in place to prevent abuse and protect people had so may loopholes and "outs" that they were laughable. Again and again, doing what I was supposed to do, jumping through the hoops I was given, allowed the systems to utilize those loopholes.
Had I contacted an attorney at the start and bypassed the "system", I would likely have had a better outcome. So would the attorney.
No single individual is accountable in any of the above examples either (besides my doctor, who was frankly dotty). Responsibility is diffused and deflected, allowing really noxious things to be done to individuals without any single person being responsible.
So, after two years without an income - trying to get back on my feet (literally)- I am looking forward to what is next. And not just what is next for me. What can I take away from this horrid personal experience that might prevent it from happening to someone else?
We shall see - first step is just talking about it!

Apologies

I know I made epic noises about diet posts some time ago. Apologies that those have not been forthcoming. Truth is that I'm completely uninspired and avoiding them, therefore the blog.
Things I want to write aren't getting written because I haven't written those posts.
So I am officially saying - meh.
Lots of good stuff on the Internets about how to eat healthy from people not trying to sell you anything.
There is some stuff I've been wanting to talk about for a long time, and now is a good time to do it.
But that is another post.
In the meantime, have some fruit!

The New Model Year

The promised followup to the previous post is currently being written, I digress for a moment to contemplate the philosophy of some current business models.
Imagine for a moment that your car has just died.
The mechanic has informed you that there is nothing to be done, you will have to replace your vehicle.
You bid a sad adieu to your old friend, and hopefully venture out to find a new automobile.

Having heard exciting things about the latest in automobile technology, you hurry off to the showroom to see the latest offerings.
The choices are overwhelming, the terminology is confusing, and your friends are all in different camps about which is the best. Undaunted, you do some research and return to the showroom, ready to make your purchase.
The salesperson is delighted to assist you in acquiring the perfect auto for your needs, with all the features that are "absolutely necessary" in modern life.
As you are finishing up the purchase, the salesman mentions that they have lessons available since you will have to learn to drive all over again to use the newest vehicle.
Initially you are a bit aghast, you know how to drive - you have been driving for years! But, you are informed, new car controls are entirely different than the old models like you had - nothing for it, you have to re-learn how to drive.
Taking possession of your new car, you are initially stumped by the completely unfamiliar controls and layout. "I simply want to drive to the store!!" you cry.
Eventually, after some time, you become familiar with the controls and are able to drive the new auto nearly as well as you drove the old one. There are certainly a lot of buttons, switches and dials that you don't use or really recall how to work - but you get where you need to go. You do wind up buying a portable radio since you never have been able to figure out the audio system.
Then one day, about 2 years after you bought your new car, it suddenly stops working. You have it towed into the dealer, only to be told that this is an old model. They no longer have any parts for it or mechanics who can work on it. You will have to buy a new one.
You are aghast. Your old car ran for YEARS with no trouble, the new one is worn out already!?
Ah, they say, but that old one used outdated technology! The newest cars have the latest features, and do everything your old car did and SO much more!! And they completely upgraded the audio system!!
It now has plugs so you can connect all sorts of accessories!! SO much BETTER!
You sigh...seems this is how cars are made these days. Grumbling, you choose your new vehicle. As you climb into the new vehicle, you realize that none of the controls are familiar at all. It seems that they have improved the design yet again. You have to learn to drive all over again.

Gritting your teeth, you once again begin the process of figuring out how to get your latest vehicle to do what you need it to do. After frustration, swearing and lots more time invested, you figure out how to get it to function adequately for your needs. Of course now, in addition to the portable radio, you have to drive with the car windows open all summer since you cannot figure out how to turn off the heater or get the air conditioning to work. "There has GOT to be a better way to make cars!" you think.
Then, 9 months after your latest purchase - your car dies.
Furious, you take it to the dealer and demand that they repair it.
The dealer looks it over and tells you that this model never really took off, people didn't seem to care for it much - so they have discontinued it and have a greatly improved model that they will sell you at a great discount with your trade-in!! You suspiciously look over the showroom model - and sure enough, you will have to learn how to drive all over again.





Now this is obviously a stupid business model. Who is going to invest that kind of time and effort?
Most of us would purchase a bus pass - or a horse!!
Why would anyone keep spending their time and money over and over again just to get a product to do what they need?

Obviously - this model is familiar to anyone who uses consumer electronics. We deal with product that are constantly being upgraded, proprietary this-that-and-whatsit, bells and whistles that we have no need or use for and that make using the product more difficult. We tolerate lousy phone reception, dropped calls and dead zones for the convenience of cell phones. Picture quality for candid snapshots has degraded since people are using camera phones. We have developed a shorthand for text messaging since it is incredibly difficult to type messages onto a tiny mobile phone screen. The basic utility of objects is being sacrificed, marginally useful "add-ons" increase complexity and often cause product failure - and then are expected to discard the technology after a year or so and buy the latest and the greatest and start all over again.
This model has been adopted by a number of industries, rather than products being designed help customers accomplish a task - customers are being given products that they are expected to adjust their expectations to accommodate. And if customers resist the process and demand utility?
"Our customers are simply resistant to change."
YOU are broken.
I find it fascinating reading past predictions of what the future would look like. In almost every case, the assumption has been that the drive would be to improve the usefulness and efficiency of our technology. Sadly, what has occurred is that many industries have found it more cost effective to simply change customer expectations.

Making cents of those New Years Diets

The post-Saturnalia excesses and Holiday good cheer soon to fade into another year of snapshots and warm memories (one hopes), the next season quickly approaches.
I speak of the Diet Season, ushered in by the snug-waistbanded New Year's Resolution to Lose Weight before Summer, dammit!! Whether disguised as a pious vow of "Healthy Eating" or an ill-advised goal to lose 50lb in the next 3 months - January is the Season of the Diet.

This is the busy season for Gyms and Health Clubs, everybody has a book to sell or a program with a great incentive to join. And the countless "medical" weight loss clinics overflow with the hopeful.
So many different plans and so many different "scientific" explanations for why each diet plan works and is better than all the others.

Some claim to burn your fat off selectively, or more efficiently, or while you sleep, or if you eat certain food combinations, or if you take certain supplements...etc.
Others claim to suppress your appetite or provide a feeling of fullness or satisfaction without calories being consumed, again via some product they can provide.
Some have written books to explain how certain foods "make you fat" and should be avoided, or certain food combinations will burn fat faster, increase your metabolism, suppress your appetite, improve your energy, cure cancer, etc.

Red Flags of Quackery from Sci-ence.org

There is even a book out there that claims to hold the secret to calling grey aliens who will come and insert probes while you sleep and abduct only your fat! (I hope to find a publisher soon)
The secret of all these products is to make nutrition, and how the body processes food seem so mysterious and complex that your simple mind will need someone (them) to explain it to you - and to sell you the secret key to weight loss.

So over the next few blog posts, I intend to offer some actual information on how your body works - processes, stores, burns, and eliminates, as well as links to some good (and free) sources of reliable information.
Fair warning - the tl;dr is going to be unexciting and decidedly Not New. Burn more than you eat.

Fixing what is Broken

Looking at social media today, seeing a lot of the same conversations going on that have gone on before when we have had horrific tragedies occur that involve someone going on a rampage and killing a lot of people.

People at their best, offering love and support to each other.
Hurting people reaching out for support.
Frightened people asking for reassurance.
Angry people demanding justice.

And a lot of folks who are once again using a tragedy being heavily covered by the media (and We are the Media) to promote their own personal agendas.
Christian extremists claiming some sort of retribution for sin as the cause.
Gun control advocates claiming that abundance of guns is the cause.
Gun ownership advocates claiming that an inadequately armed/educated populace is the cause.
People standing up and pointing to bullying, the economy, lack of mental health care, chemicals in the environment, you name it.

And all this before anyone has released the actual name, or any official information about who did a crime and why. Because that doesn't really matter. Getting that spotlight for a moment to plug your POV is what counts. For the Greater Good, of course.

We all have our prejudices and experiences that influence how we view the world - and these determine how we react to situations and what sort of assumptions we make.
But the fact is, that the problems that lead to this kind of horrific culmination do not have one simple cause that can be easily fixed. It takes a lot of failures to produce the kind of chain reaction that leads to this sort of bloodshed, which is why it happens so rarely. Too damned often, certainly, but within the population still pretty rarely.

I have my own prejudices too, and tend to go right to lack of mental healthcare - but I have no more idea than anybody else if that is a contributing factor in this case. And to use something so horrible and tragic - to see it as an "opportunity"- is beyond icky.

So the short version? STFU and just be supportive. Save the soapbox for a respectful time after the funerals. Show some class.

A Prayer from the Velveteen Rabbi

If you are not familiar with The Velveteen Rabbi's blog I heartily recommend it.
Her most recent posting is well worth sharing:

Prayer for the Children of Abraham / Ibrahim

For every aspiring ballerina huddled
scared in a basement bomb shelter

    For every toddler in his mother's arms
    behind rubble of concrete and rebar

For every child who's learned to distinguish
"our" bombs from "their" bombs by sound

    For everyone wounded, cowering, frightened
    and everyone furious, planning for vengeance

For the ones who are tasked with firing shells
where there are grandmothers and infants

    For the ones who fix a rocket's parabola
    toward children on school playgrounds

For every official who sees shelling Gaza
as a matter of "cutting the grass"

    And every official who approves launching projectiles
    from behind preschools or prayer places
   
For every kid taught to lob a bomb with pride
And every kid sickened by explosions

    For every teenager who considers
    "martyrdom" his best hope for a future:

May the God of compassion and the God of mercy
God of justice and God of forgiveness

    God Who shaped creation in Her tender womb
    and nurses us each day with blessing

God Who suffers the anxiety and pain
of each of His unique children

    God Who yearns for us to take up
    the work of perfecting creation

God Who is reflected in those who fight
and in those who bandage the bleeding --

    May our Father, Mother, Beloved, Creator
    cradle every hurting heart in caring hands.

Soon may we hear in the hills of Judah
and the streets of Jerusalem

    in the olive groves of the West Bank
    and the apartment blocks of Gaza City

in the kibbutz fields of the Negev
and the neighborhoods of Nablus

    the voice of fighters who have traded weapons
    for books and ploughs and bread ovens

the voice of children on swings and on slides
singing nonsense songs, unafraid

    the voice of reconciliation and new beginnings
    in our day, speedily and soon.

And let us say:

    amen.
The Velveteen Rabbi

VOTES FOR WOMEN

I am very grateful that I live in a democracy, even with its faults, that allows us to change our government peacefully and without bloodshed if we feel change is needed.

And I am grateful that I live in a country where I can vote without fear of violence, where I can read the ballot, and where my sex does not interfere with any of those things. I will vote so that this can continue.

Ladies, I am talking to you.
Gents, and others, I love you all. But this post is directed to the women.
We join other "minority" groups once again as targets for legislation across the country designed to marginalize us and undermine the civil rights that we have fought so hard to achieve.
We have watched all the momentum gained for civil rights across the board that were gained in the 1960s and 1970s coast to a standstill in the following twenty years as the next generation was born into a much better world. We thought the job was done, that the remaining pockets of racism and sexism were just ignorant or old folks who would die out like the dinosaurs.
Look around you ladies. We have Velociraptors in the House and a T-Rex on your school board.
So I give you some inspirational reminders of days past. These women achieved suffrage for all of us, we owe them.

American Democracy only fails when we fail to participate in it. So read up on the candidates and the issues. And VOTE.