February 4, 2015

Credulo'cha leaf infusions cure all forms of cancer! Amazing new discovery!



My cousin was recently on an ethnobotanical expedition exploring the very remote island of Socotra. While there, he found an isolated tribe of people living as they had for thousands of years.
After spending some weeks with them documenting their diet, health and medicines he made an amazing discovery. Nobody in that tribe had ever had cancer. They didn't even have a WORD for cancer! A very old man there claimed he had heard of someone from a distant place who had died of a strange malady that sounds a lot like stomach cancer - but they all credit a leaf found only in their area with keeping them all healthy and living to a ripe old age.
After some coaxing, the tribe's healer showed me this curious plant. He called it "credulo'cha" in the local dialect of Portuguese they spoke with outsiders.

Well you can imagine our excitement at hearing of this miraculous botanical.
Much to our dismay, we were informed by the elder that this plant does not create fertile seeds but can only be propagated with cuttings. He reported they took cuttings with them to start a new crop every time they moved their camps to a new location.
It was decided we would attempt to bring some cuttings back with us, despite the conditions of the journey and the length of it. We were warned by another tribe member that the government would confiscate the leaves if they were found, so we were forced to not only try to keep the cuttings alive on the journey, but to smuggle them as well!
My cousin made it back with only a few cuttings and lost all but three when they wouldn't root in our soil. They are planning another expedition, this one to bring back larger quantities of the tea leaves since they will not grow here. He and the other group members did come back with a very limited supply of the tea.

Upon my return home, I was dismayed to discover that my wife's mother had found a lump in her breast. It was going to take her doctor 4 weeks to get her scheduled for any testing! I thought of my amazing tea discovery and convinced her to try it and see what happened. Within two weeks it was completely gone! Her doctor was amazed and stated that he had never seen anything like that happen before. Other expedition members have reported similar stories - tumor markers going completely normal within a couple of weeks, skin cancers disappearing completely from the skin, and bald patches starting to fill in with new hair!
My cousin and his team are anxious to share this exciting discovery with the world, but sadly the medical industry is not interested in any plant that is not produced in a factory!
So we are offering it to you directly, in limited quantities, while we have it. Obviously the cost is going to be high since it is so very difficult to get it here, but we are hopeful that it will become more accepted in the future and more will be available for a lot less money.
Check out our Facebook and You-tube channel for the stories from people who have used this miracle cure! Please share your story as well.**

HOLD ON A MINUTE
Sanity check. 

Internet is currently full of stories just like this one selling all sorts of stuff. And people looking for money to pay for their very expensive alternative medicine supplies.
Now there should be some questions asked here before we all start chugging Credulo'cha tea.
  1. How many people in that village would have had cancer if they never touched the tea?
  2. Does the tea prevent cancer, or does it kill it off after it starts? Or both?
  3. What sorts of cancer does it work on? What other diseases?
  4. Would those tumors, skin lesions, etc have disappeared even if the person had not drunk the tea?
  5. What do side effects/allergies/overdoses of the tea look like? How do you treat them?
  6. How much tea do you need to drink to kill off a tumor? Is it the same for all cancers? How long do you need to drink it? How much do you need to prevent cancerous tumors?
  7. What happens if you stop drinking the tea? Does the protection last, or does it go away after a time? How long does it last?
  8. What other things are people doing at the same time they use this tea? Do any of those things make the tea more effective? Less effective? What happens if they do those things without the tea?
 Those are the questions that science asks, and are the difference between anecdotal evidence and blinded clinical studies. Anecdotal evidence is GOOD, it tells us what to pay attention to  - but it DOES NOT constitute proof of efficacy and gives no data on the questions above. Because the goal is coming up with a solution that tells us not just WHAT works, but HOW it works, WHY it works, WHEN it works and HOW LONG it works.
And you aren't even volunteering as a guinea pig in trying a new "discovery" unless you are enrolled in a blinded clinical study. Because just you saying something worked for you does not answer any of those questions either.

The difference between medicine and snake-oil sales is that your doctor, your nurse, your team all worked long and hard to get where they are and are going to be here. We have to answer for the consequences of our actions, we have accountability, and we make our money by keeping you alive.
Snake oil salesman wants your money up front, got here yesterday and will be gone tomorrow. He will be back in a few months with a new name and a new "miracle cure" that science doesn't want you to have. He is accountable to nobody and avoids consequences by disappearing. 
Medicine has issues, certainly, but we have to stick around and be accountable for them.

**I probably do not have to mention this but gonna anyway. That whole bit above the red text is SATIRE. Credulo'cha does not exist to my knowledge, but would be hilarious if it did.

2 comments:

Rhianon Jameson said...

Thank goodness for the last part of the post! I didn't read the fake name too carefully, and was beginning to think you were promoting a quack cure-all. I should have known better!

Fogwoman Gray said...

My job here is done *cackles*